Sing along a song of Lisbon

Bonsoir Irlande. Allo Dublyn, this is the Bruxells comptometer comptroller. Can your score we have please?

Away with you Brussels. We have already let you know the score.

Regrets Dublyn, we were not listening. On parle francais la? You will have to vote again.

Hello Brussels, we can repeat the score for you. Douz point NON et nul point QUI.

Repeter. Je n’ai pas compris. You no listen. Vote again. La la la la la.

Well Terry, what do you make of that? You know Graham, it does not surprise me at all, at all. This has been the longest Euro-Vision contest in history. Yes Terry, but how difficult can it be with only one song to choose from?

Ah Graham, y’ wee leprechaun, the Dutch and French panels gave the wrong results and were sacked. We know that Terry, but they were using the double cross qualified majority voting. Graham, when you have been covering this contest as long as I have you will understand; it happens every time. We had the same problem with that Nice song a few years ago.

Wait a minute Terry, Dublin are back.

Alright Brussels go on, if you insist – on n’aime pas refuser. The votes of the Irish panel are – nul point NON et mille point QUI.

Merci beaucoup Dublyn. Allo Pologne, what is the delay with your score?

Well Graham, that seems to be that, the Warsaw panel are going to vote at last on a different song. En fin de compte – not at all Terry, the Czechs have come back on-air and will only give their score if the second verse is altered. Toutes les deux, Brussels will not like that Graham. Yes Terry, but Prague has a habit of going into extra time and we hear from Londres that Royaume-Uni is trying to change their panel before the show ends.

What about Aland, Graham? I thought we had voted Terry. No Graham, I mean the Finnish autonomous island in the Baltic that has not voted. Well I’ll be Helsinkied Terry. Do Brussels know?

Ca alors Graham! I’ll be banjaxed, if you pardon my french. Won’t we all Terry, I hear that Brussels is going to stop the clock at midnight.

We now take you over to the Euro-Catholic contest at Gdansk where they don’t do votes and use a clapometer instead.

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